 |
This Web site is a component of the SAMHSA Health Information Network. |
|
Part I:
Status of Research
Characteristics of Resilient Individuals
IV. Emotional Competence
Emotional Regulation
As we noted earlier, a young child's ability to regulate his emotions is greatly facilitated by his being born with an easy temperament and by his receiving sensitive and responsive caretaking. While emotional regulation is generally considered to be a positive quality, Thompson and Calkins (1996) note that, like cognitive appraisal, it too can be a doubled-edged sword. In their studies of children living with a depressed parent, children who witnessed domestic violence, and children who avoided novel challenges apparently because they were, by temperament, inhibited, the researchers found that inhibiting emotions might keep the children out of physical harm, but that might simultaneously increase the children's vulnerability to emotional risks and demands. This is consistent with the studies of Robbins and his colleagues (1996) that show that subjects scoring high in ego resilience have an ntermediate level of ego-control.
Ability to Delay Gratification
Another capacity critical to emotional competence is the ability to delay gratification. Krueger et al. (1996) studied 430 boys (mean age=12.7 years), half of whom had symptoms of behavior disturbance and psychopathology. They found that a good capacity to delay gratification was linked to multiple adaptive tendencies in early adolescence. For example, it greatly decreased the likelihood of the boys' acting out distress, and the mothers' ratings of their sons showed them to be "ego controlled, ego resilient, conscientious, open to experience, and agreeable" (p. 107).
Realistically High Self-Esteem
Resilient people generally have realistically high confidence and self-esteem. For example, Parker et al. (1990) looked at 37 highly stressed fourth to sixth grade students living in
an urban area. Compared to children who showed significant signs of stress, those described as "stress resistant" rated themselves as better adjusted, more competent, and more empathic. They had higher self-esteem, had a more internal and realistic sense of control, had more effective problem solving skills, and more positive coping strategies. Similarly, a sense of mastery and high self-esteem are thought to protect hospital social workers who treat AIDS patients from burnout (Egan, 1993).
A frequently heard criticism of attempts to bolster people's self-esteem is that doing so actually encourages narcissism and egocentricity. However, as Werner (1996a or b??) emphasizes, the critical point about realistic confidence and self-esteem is that they are by-products of competence. The competence might be in any number of areas--academics, sports, music, art, other special hobbies or talents, and so on. Such competencies are a source of pride, are often used to facilitate relationships with peers, and provide people with solace when confronting difficulties in life. Confidence and self-esteem based on competence are powerful motivators -- people who feel competent show more persistence in working at different tasks (Connell & Wellborn, 1991), and they are more likely to be effective in their actions (Markus,Cross, & Wurf, 1990). In fact, competence, confidence, and high self-esteem are virtual prerequisites to the development of a sense of autonomy that enables a person to think and work independently.
Creativity and a Sense of Humor
Humor is a third kingdom where the spirit becomes tough and elastic.
--Herman Hesse
Quoted by Drs. Steven and Sybil Wolin (1994)
A trait of resilient people that is part cognitive, part emotional, beneficial for relationships, and invaluable for coping with life's adversities is a sense of humor (Masten, 1986, 1989). Berg and Bockern (1995) state that humor has been defined as "the ability to perceive relationships between people, objects, or ideas in incongruous ways" (p. 27). It is quite different from ridicule which harms people by laughing at them. Good-natured humor allows people to laugh with each other and not take themselves so seriously. It is "a way of establishing connections, defusing conflict, coping with pain and anxiety, and bringing others fun and enjoyment" (Berg and Bockern, 1995, p. 29).
The Wolins (1994) emphasize the connection between humor and creativity in that both "have the power to reverse a harsh reality by turning inward to the imagination" (p.165). They note further that both originate with playing, that is, with "all the imaginative activities in which you consciously or unconsciously liquidated your real-life hardships" (p. 168). Their quote from Dr. Albert Solnit (1987, p. 215) elucidates how playing promotes resilience:
Play enlarges the child's sense of himself, his capacities and his effectiveness in altering the reality in which he lives. In that sense, play enables the child to explore safely how he can become active in shaping his world and not feel helpless or dependent on it any more than he prefers (Wolin & Wolin, 1994, pp.171)
If development goes well, in time the child brings discipline and effort to her playing and "the imaginative energy that drives playing is channeled into shaping, making art" (p.163). We
see this evolution when adolescents "dabble in writing, music, painting, or dance to break the constraints of their troubled families and their own hurt feelings." These activities clearly foster resilience as they "convert a victim's posture into a proud and beautiful stance," and they allow adolescents "to express their inner turmoil and to bring order out of confusion" (pp. 172-173). The resilience of creativity "is the will to accept the discipline of an art form in order to shape your pain into 'something else'. [It] is expressing your feelings in flights of fancy and returning to earth in control of yourself and better for the trip" (Wolin & Wolin, 1994, p. 175).
According to the Wolins:
In some adult survivors, shaping evolves into composing or skilled creative activity. However, most resilient survivors direct the urge to play into humor, mixing the absurd and the awful in the deadly serious and telling about it in a good joke. Composing is seeing the potential for growth and strength in your pain and reporting about it in art (Wolin & Wolin, 1994, p. 163).
Table of Contents | Previous | Next
|
